Promise through Powerful Prayer

I was planning to write a blog about the power of powerful prayer. It really is powerful. Well while I was brainstorming and putting my thoughts in order, I thought I would Google the word prayers and grab an inspirational image or two. Most of the pictures were really really cheesy images of some sparkly Precious Moments character and a sappy poem in old lady font. You know what I am talking about the ones your grandma sends you as a forward….. (Hi Grandma, I love your forwards by the way!)


Well I clicked on the first image that wasn’t cheesy partly because it wasn’t sappy and partly because I wanted to get a better look at the picture. Below is the image that popped up. I'll explain what it is in a moment.

This may not mean very much to any of you but it took my breath away. I was going to get on here and talk about how during a very powerful prayer session God spoke to me through scripture about what he wants in my future. Almost everything I have been anxious about lately was address and answered in this passage and it brought great hope for me. I was talking with my Good friend Cara.

This is an older pic of Cara and me. We have lots of fun girly times together doing silly things most adults don’t let themselves do anymore like; dance like a ballerina and pretend a red tablecloth is a queen’s robe or a set of wings while singing out loud to a pop song. Basically Cara brings out the best in me, she is also very wise and has discernment that I long to have one day.

Anyway we were talking and I was excitingly telling her about what the Lord had shown me. She too got excited that my prayers were so quickly and powerfully answered. But I confessed to her I was a little sad that the one anxiety God had not addressed was my anxiety about my love for the nations. That is where that picture I Googled comes back into play. It is a picture of prayer boards hanging in a temple in Kamakura, Kanagawa Japan. During exam time in Japan student flock to temples and buy prayer board for high marks.

Once I clicked on this image it opened a new tab that showed it was from a website called Global compassion. The web site is 100% secular; a place for people to connect and share images from all over the world. What is most spectacular is that the specific page it took me to was called Japan Window, Glimpses of Japan. (click on the words it’s a link)

In case you don’t know very much about me the Lord has used Japan in my life, for the past 8 and years. It was there that I encountered him for the first time and started a personal relationship with him. It was Japan that God used to ignite in me a desire to spread his name among the broken hearted. That particular web page was talking about spirituality in Japan, and how for the most part they claim no connection or belief in God even in the gods and idols they worship. They do these acts as a ritual, a natural reaction to the fear of a god or in strong desire for something more, but in reality they have no hope of an actual connection with a living God.

It was just amazing to me that as I was going to talk about this grand experience during prayer, I had a secret underlying anxiety about my future involvement in loving the nations, God called out that anxiety and almost as a promise showed me the ever present need for compassion towards the world, that has always been represented in my life as Japan. Sigh…. Thanks God.

Living Simply; Extravagant.

I have been struggling for the past few years with my identity. I know that can sound really messed up psychologically, but hear me out. I know my personality I am bubbly, loud and say the wrong thing at the wrong time at every opportunity I get. I just can’t help myself. I know who I am. I’m just fighting this internal struggle about who I want to become “when I grow up.” LOL , as if I am not a completely grown adult.


Here is my friend Staci. Staci is “ummm yeah” awesome! When she gets really excited about the Lord she always says “ummm Yeah.” I love it! There are a lot of other things I love about Staci too. She is such an inspiration. She is called to serve the nations and is totally sold out for them.

"umm yeah" Staci is on the Right.

Staci is sure of her calling and anxiously waiting the day the Lord sends her for good. She lives simple, like I wish I could. She has all of her needs met and enjoys life in a minimalist way. I don’t mean she eats berries and plants she scavenges herself and sleeps in a tent in the woods. I mean she uses the things she has and makes her world beautiful with what she’s got; things given to her as gifts, artwork she bought off a poverty stricken senior citizen in a foreign country and classic clothes that stay trendy in all fashion seasons. When the lord fulfills his calling on her life she will be able to go with no strings attached taking her few but important possessions. I long for that freedom.

I too have been called for the nations, I am not as sure as Staci is in my calling. I do not yet know if God wants me to serve the nations by going, sending, or giving. But I know that when he does let me know I will have a lot more in my way. Obtuse amounts of furniture, bedroom sets, mountains of DVD, closets full of clothes, knickknacks, boxes of jewelry, and multiple sets of dishes. Basically I have a ton of crap and the list goes on and on. Half of me wishes I had the strength to be free from it and sell all of it I don’t totally need.

But the other half of me is creative and loves arranging things in beautiful ways to make people feel comfortable and welcome into my home. I have a gift of hospitality and being an American find that couches and wall decorations are a necessity to make others, as well as myself, feel comfortable in my home. I mean just look at this beautiful room I saw on a blog today.

Don’t you want to just curl up with a book and relax in the beauty of the full soft fabrics? I long for my home to be like this, and not for selfish vanity reasons. I am sure those reasons are in there too but mainly I want so much to love on others and let my home be a sanctuary to them. If that picture was my home I would love to see it full of others laughing and enjoying each other’s company playing games watching movies or having bible studies, while I run around with a pitcher of lemonade and a plate of cookies.

I am just struggling with how these two desires come together. For years I put it off saying to myself when God places my future husband in my life he will balance this out and my desires will all make sense. As if adding someone else’s desire to the mix would automatically change mine. How much harder would things become if he too had a similar view and was waiting for me to put him together. What a mess. I know I need to find my place in God’s calling; find the place where both of these desires can come to pass so that when God does send me my husband there will be fewer messes to iron out.

This revelation is wonderful but still doesn’t help me make sense of these conflicting desires in my life. I’ll just keep praying for clarity from the Lord, and give him this internal struggle I am fighting with.

Time Travel

This is my friend Ber or formally Amber. Amber is wonderful; she is an inspiration and one of the truly happiest people I know. She has great compassion for others and I am so glad God let her be part of my life. He knew I would need her!

Amber and I were gracing Sugar Browns with our presence. (Honestly I think they should pay me for all the props they get on my blog, I don’t even like coffee.) Any way we were just chilling and chatting. When some guys that we know through Harvest showed up; the convo weaved it’s self from our normal girly chatter and ended up on a wide range of talk on food, movies and music. Eventually before the guys went and grabbed their own little cozy corner of the shop we spoke briefly about traveling in Europe and how Ber is diligently and smartly saving her money for a trip to Greece. …. QUE my daydreams of sandals and togas, olives and white columns, racks of lamb and people yelling OPA!

Back in reality this little fleeting conversation about Greece rekindled my passion for the nations. Not that it ever needs much help raging in to a fiery inferno but this convo sparked it. On the way home I thought about the first time I ever felt compassion for the nations oddly enough on a trip to Greece but the impact took place in Italy. Come with me as I explain and relive the memory……



Acropolis

We, 15 year old Robynn and a couple of her classmates, with passports in hand, boarded a plane at ATX’s new international airport, back in the day when mom and dad could walk you all the way to the gate. Don’t do the math it was March of 2001. In fact this was my birthday present. I had saved all my money, done lots of fundraisers, and mom and dad helped pay for the rest. I would turn 16 in Greece during the trip, not many people get to say that.

Coliseum

The plane ride was long but we were young and jet-lag never set in. We would eventually make it to Greece and see the Acropolis in Athens, the temple of the oracles of Delphi and the first grounds for the Olympics in Olympia but before I ever made it to Greece we stopped for 6 days in Italy. We saw the Coliseum, the roman forum, the Trevi Fountain, Pompeii and Naples. Since this all took place back in the day when digital cameras were only for the wickedly rick and even then held their memory on floppy disks of less than a gig; I don’t have any picture to share. But I promise they would have been magnificent seeing as how I am a professional photographer and all. LOL

Half way through the trip, we stopped in a little village for lunch on our way to the boat that would take us over night from Italy to Greece. (On that boat I experienced my first go at gambling, since we were on international waters I was free and clear; legally allowed to throwaway my 10 bucks on the slots.) But never mind that, back to the Italian village. It was beautiful and almost empty because this village was a winter playground for native Italians, I wish I could remember the name of it, but it eludes me now. My classmate and I decided to take a little walk, go in the shops and the grab our lunch in a bistro near where we were to meet the bus.

After narrowly escaping a run in with the Italian law, for being accused of stealing, we sat down at the bistro. I don’t think this quaint little eatery had electricity because the only light was coming in through the windows at the front. As my eyes adjusted and my classmate went on and on about how scared she was that the owner who had just thrown us out of her shop was sure to call the Italian police, I noticed a small girl in the corner. My friend kept gabbing but I focused on this beautiful little girl.

She was not poor or evil looking, ready to pick our pockets, as we had been warned by the tour guide that all Italian children were. She was beautiful with rich brown hair, olive skin and big deep brown eyes standing quietly playing with a Barbie. As the little beauty noticed me noticing her she stepped into the light and looked back and forth from her Barbie to her mother and then to my friend who was a blonde hair blue eyed American. I watched as the wheels in her tiny little mind kept turning. She touched the Barbie’s hair and then her own, the Barbie’s arm and then hers. Then in slow motion, almost as if in a movie, she dropped the Barbie and ran to her mother, the Barbie hit the floor with an echoing boom.

I don’t understand Italian, I never studied even one word of the language, but its close enough to ours that I understood the short sentence the child said to her mother. Even if I hadn’t understood her words I would have clearly understood her body language. She pulled at her mother’s dress, with sad eyes pointed to my friend and stated almost as a question, “Momma that Barbie is beautiful?” Her mother who did not turn or even seem to notice the child shooed her away, and the little girl dejected, returned to stare longingly at her Barbie.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces. Who would comfort this child? Who would be there to tell her in her own language that God had made her beautiful and had a great plan for her life? Who would tell her, her culture was wonderful and unique and she didn’t have to be like an American? Would she ever know the truth? How would she know His love for her? I didn’t understand then what to do or say or why it had impacted me so. I still think about that girl who is well into her teens by now. I pray that someone lets her know about God someday, and that she is not still haunted by the desire to be like a fake Barbie.

And that’s how it happened, folks. Like I said I had no knowledge then of the Lord’s great commission or that he would call me to serve internationally someday. But it was the first moment that I felt a desire to comfort someone outside of my own culture, and to let them know of the wonders of my Lord.

Once Upon a Dream

Dreams… Dreams can mean a ton of things. To a little girl who flew back and forth to visit her divorced parents every other weekend it was a dream, aspiration, to grow up and be a flight attendant. She thought those women were so kind and took such good care of her that at night she slept with her Stewardess Barbie under her pillow. (You know in case of fire, she had to save her favorite Barbie.) Fast forward a few years to an awkward curly-haired teenager whose dreams were, fantasy. Where the boy of her dreams would run off the football field sweep her up and they would live happily ever after; rich and beautiful forever. This dream often interfered with reality and school work; and to be honest haunted her much past her teenage years. As this girl matured her dreams became a delight. What a dream it was to sit in a classroom on Texas Tech University campus and wonder who had sat in that seat before her. Her mom, her dad? Who would sit there after her? A future president? Maybe her own children someday? But dreams are also neurological processes during sleep. Well that little girl is all grown up and had one of those “neurological processes” the other night.

I was transferred in this dream back to a place and time, where people whom I loved and trusted were causing trauma to me and those around me. During that time everyday was a struggle for survival and sanity and it was no different in this vivid dream. In the dream I was guarding something… no someone, two someones that I loved very much. They were weak and at first I was strong and took all of the trauma due them.

But the longer this went on the harder it was for me to protect them I began making sacrifices of myself to keep them guarded form the people who wanted to hurt them. I traded things that were dear to me, grew a hard outer shell, and long dark claws. I began to trash with these claws causing pain to others; not caring who I hurt, what I gave up or threw away to save the ones I cared about. In the end I was left a mangled mess of a monster, with no resemblance of the brave strong girl I was at the start of the dream. I was too tired to fight and could no longer save the ones I loved.

One of my loved ones was frozen in fear stuck to constantly relive the events. They could no longer recognized me, terrified of the things they had seen me do to others in attempt to save them. My other loved one seemed so unaware of the true events outside of the realm of protection I was trying to provide. They had become angry at my attempts to corral their curiosity toward the ones wanting to hurt them and as soon as I could no longer protect them they ran freely and excited into the arms of the enemy. In my attempt to save them I had lost them both.

I think dreams are much more than aspirations, fantasies, delights, and neurological processes. The bible talks about many dreams, and the Lord has used them in several ways:

1. A warning to flee in Mathew 2:13

2. A prophesy (I know, one of those scary words) to Joseph in Genesis 37:1-11

3. An encouragement in light of opposition in Judges 7:13-15

4. A way to provide us the desires of our heart in 1 Kings 3: 5-6

5. To reveal the temptation of sin we may be unaware of in Genesis 20: 3-7

6. To comfort us when we are scared in Matthew 1:20

Anyway I am sure there are others but these are the ones that came to mind. That being said it is apparent that God can use these neurological processes that happen in our subconscious. In reflecting on the events of the dream much like I reflect on the events of the day I learned a few things. So whether God sent me this dream or not and whatever your personal beliefs are on dreams doesn’t matter. What matters is that I learned a lot from my little dream, therefore God used it.

I learned that he must be my refuge; if I try to fight my own battles I can lose myself, compromise my beliefs, and hurt others. I must humble myself to his authority. I also learned that I need to let go of the ones I care about because the more I try to hold on to them the more damage I can do. I must cast all of my anxieties on him. God can protect them better than I can and will not lose them along the way like I did. I must be sober-minded. I learned that the enemy can use even my love toward people as a tool for deception. I must be watchful for the devil prowls like a lion. I learned that others will make their own decisions even if their decisions hurt me but that I need to trust that God has their best interest at heart. I need to stand firm in my faith and know that others are suffering too. And because I learned so much from this messy dream I know that after I suffer a little God will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish me.


I did wake up from this dream shaken but, again, just as he does with reality, he took the mess and once I trusted him with it, he cultivated it into an opportunity to reveal more of himself to me.

1 Peter 5: 6-10
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

A case of the Mondays

Oh friends, it has been a Monday! My wonderful friend Johanna put up a blog that surprisingly gave me hope.

This is Johanna, we met in 2003 when I helped her drag her boxes up to her dorm room just across the hall from mine. Then she magically showed up at a Christian camp for incoming freshmen. This started a marvelous friendship full of road trips, deer in the headlights, football games, costume parties and late night discussions. What a splendid friend and blessing to have in my life throughout college and beyond!!! THIRD-SHORTIES FOREVER!!!!!

Anyway, her Blog was about her view of predestination, I know that it is a very controversial issue and can often cause a sinking sadness for the lost. But despite what you or I believe about the issue, her message and view gave me hope in God’s Sovereign Will over my life. How, despite the hardships of Mondays, he is guiding me through and it is all, his entire plan (even Mondays.) His plan may not be what I want or easy in the least bit but since it is his plan it will ultimately produce good. What Joy!

Psalms 146 (ESV)

1 Praise the LORD!
Praise the LORD, O my soul!
2 I will praise the LORD as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

3 Put not your trust in princes,
in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.
4 When his breath departs, he returns to the earth;
on that very day his plans perish.

5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD his God,
6 who made heaven and earth,
the sea, and all that is in them,
who keeps faith forever;
7 who executes justice for the oppressed,
who gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets the prisoners free;

8 the LORD opens the eyes of the blind.
The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down;
the LORD loves the righteous.
9 The LORD watches over the sojourners;
he upholds the widow and the fatherless,
but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

10 The LORD will reign forever,
your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the LORD!

The World of CiCi's

I want to slowly introduce you to the cast of my life…. We are a great bunch of characters. This is my friend Libbers. Her name isn’t really Libbers but I am so happy the instant I see her that is usually what jumps out of my mouth.

Libbers is a beautiful woman with a heart of zeal for God; she is a wonderful musician and has a heat for Africa and her big polar bear of a dog Cooper. In case you were wondering Cooper is Super-doper!

Well Libbers and I were chillin at our local coffee shop Sugar Browns the other day when we got the strangest craving for buffet style pizza. Yeah … I don’t know where that came from????? What were we thinking? Mr. Gatti’s is not only the best quality buffet style pizza (that is if buffet style pizza has any quality at all) but it was also just across the street. So us Americans get in our big fat SUV and literally drive across the street ready to gorge ourselves at the $6.00 pizza buffet. Well when we get there it is jam packed with about 800 elementary kids and there is a sign on the door welcoming an entire Lubbock Elementary for their back to school party. We heed the warning and head to the second rate pizza buffet in town.

Here we come CiCi’s Pizza. What awaited us at CiCi’s was more than we had bargained for. We pay our ridiculous $7.00 for the buffet and another $0.75 charge for using our debit cards. Clue # 1 as to what we were getting into. I grab my plate and head on. I notice the “salad” bar and decide it is best to skip Clue # 2 the brown lettuce and rotting tomatoes and head for the “pizza” around the corner. At first it looks great a smorgasbord of pizza of any kind you would like. Except for the mayonnaise, squid and corn variety they prefer in Japan which is surprisingly good. But upon closer inspection clue # 3 hits me in the face. It looks like pizza and has some of the same qualities as pizza but doesn’t please me at all; not in taste or texture or nutrition. I am not satisfied by my first selection of alfredo and cheese pizza so I return to the buffet and make a try with standard pepperoni; still not satisfying.

I must have made several trips trying more and more pizza until I realize that I was full and feeling a bit sick but was never satisfied with any of my selections; not in the least. As Libbers is experiencing the same strange phenomenon we begin to survey the landscape; Clue #4. There are numerous unruly children running a muck, demanding ridiculous things from their uninterested parents, who oblige their children’s screams for more. More pizza, more soda, more money for the games in the back. The filth that has begun to pile on every table around us is appalling. Plates with half eaten pizza pile up; they are stacked 6 or 7 plates high for each person indicating the numerous trips for the unsatisfying pizza. Some tables have whole pieces smeared across the surface and left in piles with spilt drinks and soaked napkins. I think, “what am I doing here? I don’t belong here with these people.” I begin to judge them Clue#5 making mental slams at culture, economic status and gender. Libbers must have been seeing roughly the same things as I was, probably minus the mental slams and superior thoughts of condemnation, because she leaned over to me and whispered, “Lets NEVER do this again!” I agree and suggest we get out of there.

As I was heading home feeling nauseous from what I have just consumed I began to analyze all the Clues as to where I had been. Clue #1 seventy five cent charge for using my card aka greed. Clue #2 rotting nutritional food over looked for pizza aka gluttony and disregard for our own bodies. Clue # 3 pizza that is made to look delicious and enjoyable but is never satisfying, no matter how many pieces you try, aka deception, addiction, disappointment. Clue # 4 undisciplined children, and tables left in filth for others to clean aka neglect, disrespect. Clue #5 superior ways of thinking I am better than others aka rudeness, hate, judgment, condemnation, rejection, and copious amounts of other despicable things.

God had given me plenty of clues as the where I was … I was in “The World.” I often get so comfortable with my surroundings that I forget about this uncomfortable place labeled “The World” that God has called all Christians to serve in. He wants us to be in “The World” and not of it. I had failed horribly. I was in CiCi’s (The Wolrd) completely unaware of my surroundings, not prepared for the things it had in store for me. I quickly left my ways behind and became of CiCi’s, of “The World” not just in it. And worst of all I felt above others as if I was better. I acted like them and condemned them for their actions. What a hypocrite I am. As a Christian I am called to love “The World” as God loves them to be a living example of my savior, but I only molded to their customs and then showed disdain for their ways. My only hope rests in the righteousness of my savior that lives within me. I pray that I learn from this lesson not only for my own reputation and for the reputation of all Christ followers but for the Lost so that they may see in me something different, something they need.