Once Upon a Dream

Dreams… Dreams can mean a ton of things. To a little girl who flew back and forth to visit her divorced parents every other weekend it was a dream, aspiration, to grow up and be a flight attendant. She thought those women were so kind and took such good care of her that at night she slept with her Stewardess Barbie under her pillow. (You know in case of fire, she had to save her favorite Barbie.) Fast forward a few years to an awkward curly-haired teenager whose dreams were, fantasy. Where the boy of her dreams would run off the football field sweep her up and they would live happily ever after; rich and beautiful forever. This dream often interfered with reality and school work; and to be honest haunted her much past her teenage years. As this girl matured her dreams became a delight. What a dream it was to sit in a classroom on Texas Tech University campus and wonder who had sat in that seat before her. Her mom, her dad? Who would sit there after her? A future president? Maybe her own children someday? But dreams are also neurological processes during sleep. Well that little girl is all grown up and had one of those “neurological processes” the other night.

I was transferred in this dream back to a place and time, where people whom I loved and trusted were causing trauma to me and those around me. During that time everyday was a struggle for survival and sanity and it was no different in this vivid dream. In the dream I was guarding something… no someone, two someones that I loved very much. They were weak and at first I was strong and took all of the trauma due them.

But the longer this went on the harder it was for me to protect them I began making sacrifices of myself to keep them guarded form the people who wanted to hurt them. I traded things that were dear to me, grew a hard outer shell, and long dark claws. I began to trash with these claws causing pain to others; not caring who I hurt, what I gave up or threw away to save the ones I cared about. In the end I was left a mangled mess of a monster, with no resemblance of the brave strong girl I was at the start of the dream. I was too tired to fight and could no longer save the ones I loved.

One of my loved ones was frozen in fear stuck to constantly relive the events. They could no longer recognized me, terrified of the things they had seen me do to others in attempt to save them. My other loved one seemed so unaware of the true events outside of the realm of protection I was trying to provide. They had become angry at my attempts to corral their curiosity toward the ones wanting to hurt them and as soon as I could no longer protect them they ran freely and excited into the arms of the enemy. In my attempt to save them I had lost them both.

I think dreams are much more than aspirations, fantasies, delights, and neurological processes. The bible talks about many dreams, and the Lord has used them in several ways:

1. A warning to flee in Mathew 2:13

2. A prophesy (I know, one of those scary words) to Joseph in Genesis 37:1-11

3. An encouragement in light of opposition in Judges 7:13-15

4. A way to provide us the desires of our heart in 1 Kings 3: 5-6

5. To reveal the temptation of sin we may be unaware of in Genesis 20: 3-7

6. To comfort us when we are scared in Matthew 1:20

Anyway I am sure there are others but these are the ones that came to mind. That being said it is apparent that God can use these neurological processes that happen in our subconscious. In reflecting on the events of the dream much like I reflect on the events of the day I learned a few things. So whether God sent me this dream or not and whatever your personal beliefs are on dreams doesn’t matter. What matters is that I learned a lot from my little dream, therefore God used it.

I learned that he must be my refuge; if I try to fight my own battles I can lose myself, compromise my beliefs, and hurt others. I must humble myself to his authority. I also learned that I need to let go of the ones I care about because the more I try to hold on to them the more damage I can do. I must cast all of my anxieties on him. God can protect them better than I can and will not lose them along the way like I did. I must be sober-minded. I learned that the enemy can use even my love toward people as a tool for deception. I must be watchful for the devil prowls like a lion. I learned that others will make their own decisions even if their decisions hurt me but that I need to trust that God has their best interest at heart. I need to stand firm in my faith and know that others are suffering too. And because I learned so much from this messy dream I know that after I suffer a little God will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish me.


I did wake up from this dream shaken but, again, just as he does with reality, he took the mess and once I trusted him with it, he cultivated it into an opportunity to reveal more of himself to me.

1 Peter 5: 6-10
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.